im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
These tits shall not be calmed
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