i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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