You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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