Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize