Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
