she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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