Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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