dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
