Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i came on her dog
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Randomize
