There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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