Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
