Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
