Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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