Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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