Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
