Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The struggles of a small town man whore
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
