What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
