I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
