Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
