I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And then my night got REAL pukey
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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