Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
