Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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