hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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