the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
two words...techno handjob
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
