the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
