So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
