She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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