Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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