The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
