What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
