dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
