Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You took a bar mat shot.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize