I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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