dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
