Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
