Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
