On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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