don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
