I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
