Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
