The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i think im in europe. pls send help
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