ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
