he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
