he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
