Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
