If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
