How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she peed on how many people?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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