Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
