Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
