I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
