She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
