sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize