I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
