I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I have demons in me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
