marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You ruined the universe
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
