Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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