I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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