i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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