Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
