So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
