Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
