i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
