I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
