i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
