Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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