Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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