He uses pillows to masturbate.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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