Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
