we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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