I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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