I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Is it because I queefed?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
