bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
