the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize