Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
