So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
