I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
