We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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